You deserve a (kid free) vacation!

PEACE OUT BABIES.

Let me tell you why you should ditch your kids and hop on a plane with your spouse for a kid free vacation.

Listen, I'm not a world traveler, I keep it simple. My requirement is adult only and all inclusive. Because yes, I'm leaving my kids behind. I believe the definition of vacation is "time spent not changing diapers." Let's be real, taking kids on vacation is a CHORE. You have to practically rent a U-Haul to pack all their little items to make them comfortable and keep them alive for a week. You have to cook at the vacation home or go out and pay $8 for a hot dog they won't eat. You have to leave the beach in the afternoon because it's too hot and these kids need to take a nap. So you sit in silence from 1-3 instead of day drinking by a pool. I love my babies and we will take them to the beach but let's talk about the "real" vacation I like to plan.

MEXICO. Can't say enough good things. Quick and direct flight for us and 4 nights for two people at an all inclusive is less than a beach house at the Jersey shore. We first went to the area in 2009 for our honeymoon to a beautiful 5 start resort. And if it ain't broke don't fix it - we returned every year for the next 5 years. Now that we have two kids that suck our resources dry, we had to downgrade to a 4.5 start hotel (the horror) which we are about to visit for the second time.

A lot of moms can't get past the guilt of leaving their babies behind. I get it. The first time we went away after my daughter was born she was 6 months old and I had anxiety. I was sick to my stomach the whole time. Didn't stop me from drinking or eating though because I like to get my money's worth. But what I've found from vacationing without kids is this....

1) THEY DON'T CARE. Last year my 3 year old thought she was the one on vacation. We shipped her off to the grandparents and she had no idea that we weren't at home, despite the daily face time call. I mean she was totally spoiled and went to the pool and the park and probably had way too much juice. Even when she saw pictures of our trip it didn't click in her mind that we went somewhere without her, because she was the one somewhere without us.

2) Kids are so easily pleased. Set up a baby pool in the back yard, a sprinkler and let them skip their nap and they just had the best day ever and it cost you NOTHING. There's no reason for me to drag my kids to Mexico, pay $$$ to pack 15 bags full of diapers and bottles and all different size blankies depending on their mood, when they won't be any more blown away by the pool there. We still do a "family" vacation that involves going to the local beach/boardwalk, but my daughter would rather stay home or visit her grandparents and play. The baby hasn't said either way how he feels about it.

3) You deserve it. These kids are hanging all over you 24/7, wiping their snot on your arm and you take it. You go to bed at 8pm every night because these bundles of joy have sucked all the energy out of you. You make a dinner every night that the kids won't eat because it's on an orange plate and NOT THE GREEN ONE. It's in my kids best interest that I get the hell outta there for 5 days each year. Spend time around other adults without cooking or cleaning. I can eat dessert without hiding in fear that a kid will pop in and declare it's theirs now and I can't have any. I can drink without fearing that a child will wake up at 3am and need help going potty and I'll be too hung over to help. I have some serious mom goals.

So now I count the days until August when I will have my toes in the sand and a drink in each hand. I'll probably still wake up at 6am on vacation but I can go get coffee that I can drink while it's still hot. I will enjoy my long showers and kid free bathroom trips. I'll have 5 free days of not being asked "do you want to come see?" every time my toddler goes to the bathroom. So don't be sad to leave the kids behind or feel guilty. While you are swimming in the giant pool asking your husband "wouldn't the kids just love this???" trust me that your babies are not at the park wondering if you would love to swing with them. If you are going to be sad about something it should probably be that despite the fact that you cater to their every need and are constantly consumed with making their life the best ever, they probably won't even care that you are gone. Kids can be such assholes.