Usless items worth noting found in mom's basement

Below are a list of items found in mom's basement that can clearly go:

• her prom dress
• approx. 275 boxes of Christmas decorations
• Baby clothes (worth noting: has not had a baby in 19 years)
• Children's games (worth noting: no children live here)
• Books (worth noting: mom can't read. I kid!)
• Bridesmaid dresses from several 1970s weddings
• Old license plates

If you are a criminal that reads blogs in search of homes to perform B&E's on, you have come to the wrong place. While I'm sure (ehh...) there are things of value I assure you this basement is not the place for theft. Unless of course you like 1970s fashion (one of the dresses is rumored to be made of the finest velvet), but my guess is that most robbers probably are not into that.